Ciao Going Expat People,
Today I want to talk about something a bit different from paperwork, job hunting, or Dutch bureaucracy. Let’s talk about beauty standards, or better, how the approach to beauty changes when you move to the Netherlands.
Because yes, the ideals are the same everywhere. But the pressure? Not at all.
Growing up Italian: beauty as a social rule
As an Italian, I grew up in a culture where appearance is not just appearance, it’s communication. A small belly, some cellulite, a bit of softness here and there… nothing dramatic, but enough to make you (read – me -) feel “not quite right”. And that feeling doesn’t magically disappear when you become an adult.
Then I moved to Milan, and the obsession became even louder.
Everyone dressed the same trendy way, or an exaggerated version of it. The “right outfit” was a social passport. But right for who?
My academic brain couldn’t ignore it
My degree is in languages and literature, and my thesis was on how culture, language and advertising intersect, especially during Franco’s dictatorship in Spain. Once you study how media shapes society, you start seeing it everywhere.
So of course, when I moved to the Netherlands, I paid attention to Dutch TV, posters, gym ads, supermarket commercials, all the subtle cultural messages.
And something stood out immediately.
The Dutch look “normal” — and that’s the beauty of it
TV presenters here look good, but in a normal way. Not flawless. Not sculpted. Not styled to perfection. Just like people who are going to work.
Makeup is well done but not transformative. Clothes are neat but not theatrical. Hair is tidy but not “engineered”.
Advertising follows the same pattern:
Family ads show real families, not catalogue models. Parents look tired, sometimes messy,sometimes imperfect.
Gym posters show different body types, not just shredded athletes
The message is “get healthy”, not “get thin”
And the woman without abs? She wears the same outfit as the fit one or the trainer. Because why wouldn’t she.
“Dutch people don’t care about fashion”, not true
Let’s debunk this cliché. I know Dutchies who love trends and Dutchies who don’t, just like everywhere else. And yes, biking culture pushes everyone toward comfort, but please ignore those influencers who dramatise it into “I moved to the Netherlands and now I dress like a potato sack”. That’s just content farming.
What I do see is this:
Nobody cares how you dress.
Nobody cares if you have cellulite and wear shorts.
Nobody cares if your belly shows when it’s 30 degrees.
Nobody cares if your outfit is trendy, outdated, or simply practical.
And because nobody cares, you slowly stop caring too, in the best possible way. In fact it means you keep your style if you want and adapt a more positive response to bodies
The Dutch approach to bodies feels more neutral, more accepting, more grounded in reality. People don’t stare. People don’t comment. People don’t judge your shape as part of your identity.
Beauty standards exist, of course. But the social pressure to perform beauty is much lower.
For someone who grew up in a culture where appearance is a constant background noise, this feels like fresh air.
Why this matters for expats
Moving abroad isn’t only about visas, housing, or job hunting. It’s also about unlearning the invisible rules you grew up with.
And for many expats, especially those from countries where appearance is a social currency, the Netherlands offers a surprising gift:
the freedom to exist in your body without apology.
Written by Rossella Davì
